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Brown Salesman WigLet us break it down for you, pal: A properly combed, high coif basically gets a guy anything he wants. Wanna know why? Because walk into any room and you'll find that a luxurious head of male hair tells everyone, "Yeah, that's right I don't have to worry about early onset hair loss or male pattern baldness, so I have much more time to devote to leisure activities like speed boating, or rare jewel prospecting." And we don't have to tell you that the

SNL has plenty of famous skits from their many years on the air

There is the knock-knock pun-filled brand that is popular with dads and grandpas everywhere

because—in this 100% polyester

When you were growing up

Oh how you long to have a little pooch to nip at your toes and bound across your lawn

THE TIME IS NOWWe've been a little lazy after that giant leap for mankind that left our footprints on the moon

for at least your first playthrough

But if we're being realistic

and green frilly dress

This outfit will put you in the kind of peaceful state of mind that only comes from overdosing on turkey

Just take a look at all of those episodes of Rugrats

you will be fully ready to join Hansel and take on the evil Mugatu